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Shoo Ed/Script
opens what is presumably a car's trunk. He is in the junkyard. He pulls something out–specifically, an air freshener in the shape of a tree–but then frowns, as it wasn't what he was looking for. Kevin: "Awesome!" pulls a bike pedal out. It is revealed that he was looking in the hood of a car. "Just what I was looking for." sound of someone cracking their knuckles is heard. Angrily "Who's there?" junkyard is eerily silent. "This place gives me the creeps." turns around to see Plank immediately in front of him, startling him. "AAH!" trips over something, landing on an ironing board. This board surfs down a mountain of junk until it crashes into a washing machine, launching Kevin head-first into another mound of rubble. His legs pop up out of a toaster on the top of the heap. Jonny: "Whatcha doin', Kevin? Did you lose something? Maybe he lost something, Plank. What's that, Plank?" Plank: Jonny: Kevin "Plank says you should be more careful not to lose things." Kevin: "You're bugging me, man. Take a hike!" Jonny: out a toilet seat "Did you lose this, Kevin?" behind another trash heap "Hey, Kevin, Plank found a bedspring!" yet another heap "Kevin, do you like that shoe?" behind him "Kevin, whatcha doin'?" Kevin: "Chill, and hang with me." into the distance "OVER THERE!" Jonny: "Really?" too excited "Let's hang, Plank! Whatever that means." runs off Kevin: "What a leech." Jonny: back "Hoo-hoo! Kevin! We found a bike! We found a bike!" rides by on Kevin's bike. Kevin: him "That's MY bike! GET BACK HERE!" ---- Eds are sitting on a curb, glumly. Edd: "Relish the fine summer's day, Eddy. Absorb the solitude of the cul-de-sac. The aroma of fresh-cut grass." Eddy: grumpily "It stinks. I'm bored." Ed: "I forgot to wear underwear, guys." other Eds stare at him before returning to their original positions when Jonny comes in, riding the bike. He uses Ed as a ramp, and lands on Edd and Eddy. He then drives off. Ed: "Hi Jonny." Kevin: exhausted "Come back here with my bike!" Ed: "Hi Kevin." Kevin: "That kid's really bugging me." Eddy: "Check it out! Kevin's talking to himself." Edd: "Seems as though Kevin's at wits end!" Kevin: to himself "Man, I'd give anything to get rid of that twerp." Edd: Eddy get an idea "Oh dear. Ed! Eddy's got that insidious look again!" Ed: "Eddy should eat more vegetables." then runs excitedly to the centre of the conflict. Kevin: "Quit fooling around, Jonny! Mess up my paint job and I'll pound ya!" Eddy next to him "Whadda you looking at?" Eddy: smugly "I hear you'd give anything to get rid of Jonny." Kevin: Eddy by the nose "Get a life, dork." lets go of Eddy's nose. Jonny: "Stop tickling me, Plank." crash is heard. A bike wheel rolls onscreen and settles by Kevin's foot. Kevin picks it up; the spokes are mangled, and the wheel is bent. Kevin: "So, you're telling me you can get rid of him?" Eddy: "Going rate's a quarter." Kevin: "I'll give you a nickel." Eddy: "A QUARTER!" Kevin: "A NICKEL!" calmer "Get over yourself." Eddy: "What's the big deal, cheapskate?" Jonny: he has broken bike parts all over his body "Hey Kevin! I'm the bike pixie! Catch me if you can!" runs off laughing Eddy: his hair out, revealing a coin slot "Go on." throws some coins in. Kevin: "Fine." Eddy "But if that kid comes within ten feet of me..." makes a throat-slicing gesture. Eddy: his haul "There's gotta be like 30 cents here!" Jonny: "I'm a pixie! Let's dance in the woods, Plank!" Edd: "I can see how Jonny's innocent game-playing could wear on someone's nerves." Jonny: around Ed "Flutter around the mushrooms, that's what pixies do!" stops "Watch this, Ed!" turns around and does something to his face. When he turns back, his eyes are red and Plank is sticking out of the neck hole in his shirt. "I'm a two-headed monster! Uugh! Attack the mushroom!" climbs up Ed to stand on top of his head. Ed: "Boy, are you a pain in the neck, Jonny!" Eddy: an idea "Let's turn Jonny into the biggest pest on earth! Kids'll throw money at us just to get rid of him!" Jonny bites Ed "C'mon, Ed! Let's create a monster!" Ed: harassed "HE'S LIKE A BAD ITCH, EDDY! AAAGGHH! GET HIM OFF! HE'S ANNOYING MY HEAD! AAAGGH!" ---- is in a small shed. He is pulling on chains to move something while laughing maniacally. It is revealed that a bed, with a figure under a white sheet on it, is being lowered from the ceiling. It comes down to where Ed, Edd, and Eddy are standing. Eddy: "Ready?" Edd: "As I'll ever be, Eddy." pulls the sheet off. Ed: "Repulsive." is lying there, dressed in an incredibly loud suit. He pulls on his face to stretch it out, then lets go and giggles. Edd: annoyed "A suit? Annoying? I spent two hours counterbalancing chains, and all you can come up with is a suit?" Eddy: "What's with you? It's the most annoying thing I could think of." Edd: "My father wears a suit!" Eddy: "Exactly." Edd: "Well I suggest something a little more on topic. Anchovies. The person who invented this smelly salty fish dish should have been imprisoned for the rest of their life." to Jonny and tries to feed him "Open wide please." Jonny: "I smell something fishy!" dodges. Edd: "Please, Jonny." laughs and dodges again. "Please, Jonny!" Jonny: "Plank says fish is–" stuffs the spoon full of anchovies in his mouth and brushes his teeth with it. Ed then glues a block of wood to Jonny's foot. Ed: "I glued a block of wood to Jonny's foot." Edd: "Ed, why did you glue a wooden block to Jonny's foot? Why these chains? And why the suit? WHY JONNY?" Eddy: to rile Jonny up "Jonny, people really like it when you say WHY ALL THE TIME!" Jonny: "They do? Why? Why? Why? Why?" Ed: "And people really like it when you poke them on the head." pokes Eddy numerous times. Eddy: "Ed!" Ed: "See? Eddy likes it." Jonny: laughs "YEEEEE-HAAAAA!" Eddy: "Jonny! That's gold! Do it again." Jonny: "YEE-HAA!" Ed: "Low tide." Jonny: "YEE-HAA!" Eddy: "Oh man, we're gonna be rich! C'mon Jonny, let's get cracking!" Jonny: "No problem, Eddy!" cracks his knuckles. Ed: "WHAT A PEST!" Edd: "That's disgusting." Ed: "MAKE HIM STOP!" Eddy: "I'm sorry, did I say rich? I meant SUPER-RICH! Let's pester!" ---- and Jimmy are watching a birdhouse while having a picnic. Jimmy: "Do you think swallows will visit our birdhouse? Sarah?" Sarah: "We'd be lucky if a squirrel used it, Jimmy!" tapping is heard "Jimmy! It's a woodpecker, do you hear it?" at Jimmy "Huh?" is poking Jimmy on the head. Jimmy: "Aah! What Jonny, what did I do?" Jonny: "Are you watching birds, Jimmy?" anchovy breath rushes out, straight into Jimmy's nostrils. Jimmy: waveringly "Fishy breath..." faints Sarah: on Jonny "You're asking for trouble, bub!" Jonny: Sarah "Poke poke poke!" falls off. Sarah: Jonny has disappeared "Where'd he go? Fathead." Jonny: offscreen "YEE-HAA!" Jimmy: "Jumping Jehoshaphat!" Jonny: his head out of the birdhouse "YEE-HAA!" Jimmy: "Sarah! He's gonna scare the swallows!" Sarah: "Jonny, get out of there!" Jonny: "Why?" Sarah: "Cause I said so." Jonny: "Why?" Sarah: "Cause you're bugging us." Jonny: "Why?" Sarah: "Cause you're stupid!" Jonny: "Why?" Jimmy: "Why doesn't he just go away?" Eddy: the scene "For a lousy quarter, let us get that Jonny off your back." Sarah: "Get lost, Eddy!" Jimmy: "But Sarah, think of the swallows!" Sarah: her eyes "Oh, brother." Jimmy: Eddy a quarter "Swallows are beautiful." Eddy: "Ed, fetch!" runs off and pulls the tree down to eye level. He then wiggles his way into the birdhouse and throws out Jonny. He then carries Jonny off and disposes of him over the fence. Jonny: "Hee hee! I'm having so much fun I can't stand it!" Ed: with the remnants of the birdhouse on his body "Jonny has left the building!" Edd: "Are we through yet?" Eddy: Edd's cheek "Just stand there and look pretty. NEXT!" ---- is eating a sandwich. The ingredients seem to consist of lunchmeat, tentacles, and lettuce. Edd: out from behind Rolf's shed "I'm not sure about this, Eddy." Eddy: "Whaddya talking about?" walks back to a large box. Apparently Jonny is contained in it. "Double D, provoke our creation." Edd: "Boy Eddy, provoke? Those tutoring lessons must be paying off." slides back an opening in the door. Jonny: "YEE-HAA!" sticks a broom in. "Poke poke! Why? Why? Why?" each why, he yanks Edd's head against the door. "YEE-HAA!" pulls the remnants of the broom back. Eddy: "Stand back!" lifts the door and Jonny jumps out. Jonny: "Hmm." Eddy: a stage whisper "Go get him, tiger!" heads out. Ed comes onscreen with a jacket full of chickens. Edd: "Ed!" Ed: remorsefully "I love chickens, Double D." Edd: "Yes, we know, Ed." ---- bends down to get his juice and notices Jonny. Rolf: "Jonny Woodboy?" Jonny: "Can I have a bite of your sandwich, Rolf?" Rolf: Rolf's breath "Anchovy paste." thinking "Nineteen...fifty-two! A fine year." Jonny "Hail to the anchovy! Rolf respects the stench." Jonny: Rolf "Poke. Poke. Poke!" Rolf: "Ho ho! Rolf is honored by your knowledge of the shepherd's customary salute!" pokes Jonny thrice in his forehead, then slaps him on the back of the head three times, and then kicks Jonny in the butt. "Did you catch my drift?" Jonny: "YEEE-HAAAA!" Rolf: "You are full of pickles and beets today, yes, Jonny?" Jonny: "Why?" Rolf: "I invite you and your friend–" tosses Jonny in the air and catches him "–to join me! Come." drags Jonny off. Eddy: confused "What just happened? Rolf fell in love with the guy!" Edd: "It appears annoyance doesn't cross cultural boundaries." Eddy: "This calls for drastic measures!" Edd: "Drastic measures? What does that mean? I ask you!" turns to Ed, who hasn't opened his mouth the whole time. Ed: opening his mouth, and thus mumbling "I don't know." Edd: "Ed." shakes his head. Edd: "Ed!" shrugs. Edd: "Goodness, Ed, give it some air, man!" opens his mouth to reveal a chicken. ---- Rolf: pigs lick his feet "Are you keeping score, Jonny? The sows have yet to win at this game! Amateurs, I tell you!" Jonny: "I don't get it either, Plank." hidden in a bush, taps him on the head. He then whispers something into his ear. Jonny nods. Jonny: "Why?" Eddy: "Don't milk it, Jonny." pushes Jonny forward. Edd: "What are you up to, Eddy?" Eddy: on the ground "TAKE COVER!" Rolf: laughing "Tell me Jonny, is Rolf a hotshot?" Jonny: "Watch this, Rolf." cracks his knuckles and twists his head. All the animals come to attention. Rolf: "Huh?" spins around, contorting his body into a spiral. Rolf: "Ack! Stampede!" animals all stampede. Eddy: his plan worked "Any minute now and Rolf'll be begging to pay us!" Rolf: "Run for your no-good lives!" Eddy: "What'd I tell you? Hey Rolf, we can get rid of him for–" Ed: the animals "AAAHH!" Edd: "Oh dear." Eddy: "Huh?" grabs them and runs into the box with them. The animals follow them in, and the door to the box shuts. Jonny: "Holy cow! Look, Plank!" Eddy: by the animals "Jonny! I'll give you a nickel if you let us out!" Jonny: "A quarter." cracks his neck, causing the animals to go insane inside the box. Eddy: "A nickel!" Edd: "Eddy, give him the quarter!" Jonny: himself "Two quarters." animals explode again. Eddy: "A nickel!" Jonny: another contortion "Three quarters." Eddy: "A NICKEL!" Jonny: "A dollar!" goes through another contortion. Category:Season 2